Some women attribute it to putting on weight or to a lack of adventurous spirit in bed, or see it simply as an antidote to marital boredom. They liked my husband and doubtless saw me as some harridan who had driven him elsewhere. All the women I interviewed agreed that what had happened was far worse than their partner simply having an affair.
But to have chosen to pay for sex - and with any woman at that - felt too much like an attack on me. Many of the women had contacted marriage guidance counsellors but found them lacking in specialised training.
Some paid for private counselling, where experiences varied wildly. A few women did manage to address their trauma. But others felt that the counsellor was seeking to blame them. What these women really needed was someone who understood and empathised with their position without judgement.
It was something they struggled to find. One in 10 British men has admitted to paying for sex. Anna, the protagonist of my novel, seeks therapy but bridles as the psychologist examines her childhood and her relationship with her mother.
Instead, Anna becomes convinced that the way to repair her shattered self-confidence is to embark on a series of affairs. As most women who follow this path find, having an affair flatters their ego but does not address the core problem.
The women draw comparisons between themselves and the individual prostitutes, developing a hatred that easily progresses into self-disgust. One thing is obvious: They are not the only women who require adequate support. What they all agree on is one thing: Accessibility links Skip to article Skip to navigation. Tuesday 26 June Meet the forgotten victims of prostitution When it comes to 'victims' of the sex industry, there's one group of women who are rarely mentioned - the deeply shocked wives and girlfriends of men who pay for sex.
Author Vesna Main spoke to some of them to find out about blame and obsession Forgotten victims: I made him repeat it in case I had misheard. By Alison Maloney, The Sun. View author archive Get author RSS feed. Imgur How small exactly is a small penis?
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Despite finding their experiences "unfulfilling, empty, terrible", they continued to visit prostitutes. I interviewed 12 of the men, and found it a fascinating experience.
To a third person it looks like we're in love. I felt compassion for Alex. No one had shown him how to form a bond with another human being and he was searching for something that commercial sex was never going to provide. But another of the interviewees left me feeling concerned.
Darren was young, good-looking and bright; I asked him how often he thought the women he paid enjoyed the sex. If she enjoys it I would feel cheated. But they still continued to visit them.
More than half admitted that they either knew or believed that a majority of women in prostitution were lured, tricked or trafficked. Another said that he had "seen women with bruises, cuts and eastern European accents in locations where lots of trafficked women and girls are". She told me she had been tricked. I had sex with her and she seemed fine with the sex. She asked me to help her, but I said there was little I could do.
She might have been lying to me. One of the most interesting findings was that many believed men would "need" to rape if they could not pay for sex on demand. One told me, "Sometimes you might rape someone: Half of the interviewees had bought sex outside of the UK, mostly in Amsterdam, and visiting an area where prostitution is legal or openly advertised had given them a renewed dedication to buying sex when they returned to the UK.
Almost half said that they first paid for sex when they were below the age of Maybe he wanted to make sure we weren't gay. We went to a brothel. Dad didn't do it, and I don't think he told my mum. Another man paid for sex during a stag trip to Thailand with eight of his friends. She didn't want to talk, just lay on the bed and wanted to do the [sex] act only.
Many men seemed to want a real relationship with a woman and were disappointed when this didn't develop: Be prepared to accept this or don't go at all.
Lots of sex in private and I get paid. Siblings announce incestuous relationship to the world on TV … and their dads are overjoyed. Slaughtering sheep and mucking out poo … Super-vain Essex boy and club dancer get a taste of nomadic life in Mongolia in Tribal Teens. Mongolia is so much more than a bucket-list destination.
Trending Now on NYPost. Wendy Williams reveals how Graves disease changed her life.