I was a serial monogamist, moving from one long-term relationship to the next. I had friends who'd indulged in one-night stands and was probably guilty of judging them a little, of slut-shaming. I saw the negatives — that merry-go-round of hook-ups and guys never calling again. Then, in February , my partner dumped me. We'd only been together eight months but I was serious, deeply in love, and seven months of celibacy followed.
By summer, I needed something to take the pain away. Big loves don't come every day. Instead of "boyfriend hunting", searching for an exact copy of my ex, why not get out there, enjoy dating, have a good laugh — and, if I felt a connection, some good sex too?
I could be married in five years and I'd never experimented before. This was my chance to see what all the fuss was about. There's a hierarchy of seriousness on the dating sites. At the top is something like Guardian Soulmates or Match — the ones you pay for. You put in your pictures and add some information if you can be bothered.
I started with one line "Single Canadian girl in London". It's superficial, based purely on physical attraction, but that's what I was looking for. You go through what's there, if you see someone you like, you swipe right.
If he swipes you too, it lights up like a game, then asks if you want to keep playing. My first Tinder date was with someone I'd seen before on OKCupid — the same faces crop up on all these sites. He knew all the cool restaurants, the best places and, as he was only in London occasionally, things moved faster than they should have.
After just a few dates, he booked us a night in a fancy Kensington hotel. I met him at a pub first — liquid courage — and knew the second I saw him that my heart wasn't in it. The connection wasn't there for me. Not a great start. But Tinder is addictive. You find yourself browsing and swiping and playing on.
The possibilities pile up. I'm ashamed to say it but I sometimes went on three or four dates a week. It could be to a bar around the corner, or somewhere fabulous — Berner's Tavern, the Chiltern Firehouse.
Most of the guys I met were looking for sex, rarely were they after a relationship. With Tinder, I discovered what it could be to have sex then walk away without a backward glance. Sex didn't have to be wrapped up with commitment, and "will he? It could just be fun. Sometimes I had nothing in common with the guy but there was a sexual spark.
In "real life", he was the ultimate knob. He didn't fit with my politics, my views, I'd never have introduced him to my friends. In bed, though, he was passionate, eager, energetic. For a while, we'd hook up every six weeks. But there were a lot of negatives. It could feel … seedy. Where do you go for sex? I didn't feel comfortable taking someone back to my place, as he'd then know where I lived, and I live alone. If we went back to his, I'd have no idea what to expect.
With "Aldgate East", we had to walk through a pub to get to the bedroom and I swear there was a train going through the lounge. You're trusting people you barely know. After a few dates with "Manchester", I agreed to visit his hotel room next time he was in London.
I'd always been diligent about practising safe sex, but he had trouble getting in the mood with the condoms and went against my wishes at the last moment. The next morning I wrote him an angry text. I've never felt so violated. Most often, though, I didn't have sex at all. Even if a mainstream dating site has "casual" options, most users may be looking for a relationship.
So, to help you find the hottie of your dreams who is also looking just for sex, we compiled a list of the best hook-up sites that are actually created for just hooking up. Want a guaranteed hookup? Head over to FriendFinder-X , the transparent, yet progressive online dating site that word-for-word guarantees you'll get laid within three months of membership or get three more months free.
The edgy dating site has all the bells and whistles you'd expect in a site intended for hookups, along with some extras — including adult movies on demand, live model chats, and an automatic distance calculator that displays as you hover over member profiles. With over 60 million members, hundreds of thousands of new photos added each week, and the always-favorable option to join for free, Friend Finder-X is one hookup site that actually lives up to its name.
Learn more at FriendFinderX. Bypass the baggage with a dating site designed for horny users who are both single and in open relationships. Whether you're currently attached or not, NoStringsAttached. Users are there to live out their adventurous side and participation on the site comes along with the understanding that sexual encounters, rather than a courtship or dating experiences, are the end goals.
Learn more at NoStringsAttached. Want a site that provides raunchy content and top-notch features? Its goal is to help members connect for casual sex, but it also makes hanging out on the sidelines enjoyable with elements like the Sex Academy and its patented Purity Test. The test is comprised of 'yes or no' questions, which are meant to give members an opportunity to assess their own sexual behavior and preferences, and compare it to others'.
What's more, live chat options and features like Hot or Not which is reminiscent of Tinder make the site a fun and interactive place to meet your next adventure. Learn more at XMatch. Adult Friend Finder is more than just the largest sexually-focused hookup site; It's an entire community of singles, groups, and couples looking to hookup online. Filled to the brim with live action cams, explicit user photos, and a Hot or Not search feature, the site doesn't sugarcoat its intent.
It's an online dating site that skirts around the niceties and gives you a digital presence to find others who can meet your sexual wants and needs. Learn more at AdultFriendFinder. Founded in , iHookUp is a Tinder-style hook up website created for singles looking to get laid without any commitment. While iHookUp is mainly a desktop oriented platform, members are still able to pinpoint matches in their area, making it easy to find an immediate date nearby.
Learn more at iHookUp. This online dating site is literally filled to the brim with other sexually intense individuals. The hookup site naturally attracts the more sexy, sultry, and erotic crowds making it easy to find top self individuals — in terms of both looks and sexuality — who are ready and eager to arouse your inner fantasies and partake in hot and heavy sexual encounters.
Learn more at Passion. Approach hooking up online from a different angle with Ashley Madison. The notorious dating site contains an fantastically large user base of individuals currently focused on hooking up.
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